And again I fail. I let my emotions get the best of me. I let lose all of the anger and fear and hurt I feel on the inside instead of doing what I always say I will.
I will be good and kind.
I will work hard.
I will be a good wife and a good help meet.
I will be cheerful.
I will be happy.
I will do my best.
And I hate when there are these cracks and when they become fissures, canyons, gaping holes. But they are there and what do you do with them? Can I wake up tomorrow and pretend that everything is alright? Can I fix the things that are broken? What the fuck can I even do to make it better?
This project is about documenting my life and trying to live a better life, it’s about trying to find happiness in what I have and who I am. I’m going to have to work harder. I’m going to have to do better.