And again I fail.

And again I fail.  I let my emotions get the best of me.  I let lose all of the anger and fear and hurt I feel on the inside instead of doing what I always say I will.

I will be good and kind.

I will work hard.

I will be a good wife and a good help meet.

I will be cheerful.

I will be happy.

I will do my best.

And I hate when there are these cracks and when they become fissures, canyons, gaping holes.  But they are there and what do you do with them?  Can I wake up tomorrow and pretend that everything is alright?  Can I fix the things that are broken?  What the fuck can I even do to make it better?

This project is about documenting my life and trying to live a better life, it’s about trying to find happiness in what I have and who I am.  I’m going to have to work harder.  I’m going to have to do better.

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