There is nothing I love more than a New Year’s Resolution. Seriously. I know, I’ve heard the argument about how if you really want to do something you’ll do it now instead of waiting. But a new year is the ultimate blank slate and I love to take blank slates and fill them with expectations.
I’ve been meaning to look back at last year’s resolutions but keep forgetting. I know that early in December I was talking about being “happier, healthier, and wealthier” this year. I’ve done alright. I mean, happier is the hard one but I’m working on it. I’m healthier, but mostly because I can’t drink and smoke because I’m pregnant and also because I lost weight during that first trimester. Wealthier was pretty much a given. I’m making more money than I used to a I used it to pay things off and put money away. Plus, I got lawsuit money that got invested right into the house.
Not bad, but I can’t really take any of the credit for most of it.
Usually my resolutions involve two “usuals” and something else. In a normal year I would be resolving to (1)lose x amount of pounds and (2)read x amount of books. Then, the wild card. One year it was to print off all of my pictures, which isn’t a bad idea and I should probably get back to anyway. The problem is that this year I am going to have to do things differently. Is it enough to resolve to get back to my prepregnancy weight after the baby? That doesn’t feel like enough. And what about my reading? That’s going to cut back a bit.
I know that resolutions are supposed to be specific goals that you can achieve, but I wonder if that is actually the best way. What if, instead, I resolved to “bring my all to everything” or “be a kinder person”? Those aren’t things that can really be measured but they are GREAT goals. Right? Maybe too ambitious on the first one, but why not?
This upcoming year is going to present so many challenges. I’m going to be a mom. I’ll still have a husband and a house and a career and a luscious internal life that I want to foster. By resolving to bring my all to everything, I am acknowledging both that change and also that I don’t actually know what the change will entail for me. It allows me the chance to think about who I am being and what I am doing every minute to make sound decisions, even when those decisions mean walking away or taking a break.
I am not sure what I will resolve yet, but I sure am thinking about it.