Most of the time, I feel like I am a deplorable human being. I feel like I am always being an asshole. I feel like I am selfish and stupid. I feel like I am always saying and doing the wrong things.
I suspect that a lot of this is just my inner bitch being a bitch. I try not to take it to heart. I tell myself that it’s all bullshit.
I am NOT selfish because I want something for myself once in a while. In fact, I am really good at sharing. I feel selfish because I want everyone to have whatever they want but that’s not possible. So when I take something for me, I feel like I am taking it right from somebody.
I am NOT being an asshole when I stand up for myself or when I say “no”.
I am NOT stupid because I don’t know EVERYTHING. I am NOT stupid because I can’t pronounce words right that I usually only read.
I’m probably saying and doing the wrong things but in all fairness that’s just because I’m a bit awkward and don’t think before I speak and even when I do things seem to just pop out completely wrong. Perhaps this is endearing.
If I want to grow as a person and pursue my Big Three, which we’ll talk about probably tomorrow, then I am going to have to be nicer to myself. And that’s that.