Fighting, Flow, and Feeling

It’s happened a couple of times this week.  I just feel so out of it and I feel physically sapped too.  Shuffling from room to room is enough to drain my energy and my brain feels so fried that I can’t think fo what I was going to do in that room anyway or what I should be doing.

There is a good chance that I am fighting something off.  A lot of people I know are sick right now.  Stomach flu, sinus issues, common cold, strep.  It’s all going around.  It wasn’t until after I woke up from a three hour nap his afternoon that I realized this is probably the issue.  My body is fighting and it is fighting hard.  So I’m tired and pretty much brain dead.

I hate it.  I want to do things.  I want to get so much done.  But I just can’t move as fast as I want to and I just can’t think as hard as I want to.  I have to slow down.  I have to take my time.  And I do feel gross.

I’m feeling a bit bummed today.  I’m feeling, I don’t know, like I’ve ruined everything.  And I’m feeling like there’s so much to do before the baby gets here and none of it is going to get done.  And I just feel so stressed and worried and sad.  It’s a terrible emotional cocktail to go with the gunk of feeling funky to begin with.

I want to do something but I don’t know what.  I want to accomplish something.  I want to have a good time and laugh and create something.  I want to not feel so drained and dull and broken.  But to everything there is a season, even this mess.

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