The Art of Being Busy

It may not be the wisest way to live but I learned a long time ago that staying busy is the best way to deal  with things.  For me, at least.  Bad break up?  Pack your shit and move plus take all of the extra hours you can get.  Go out with your friends every chance you get.  Dad died?  Clean the house, do the laundry, work so hard that nobody notices how sad you are.  Falling over exhausted because you’re pregnant and you can’t sleep?  Just shove yourself into the day and all of the to dos and don’t stop until it’s bed time.  You’ll muscle through.

I’m serious.  This is how I work.  I’m one of those people who cleans when she’s upset or mad.

I didn’t sleep well Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.  I took a long nap on Saturday and it felt great but on Sunday Hubby pointed out that the naps were probably not helping with my sleep any.  (I did not point out that staying up past 1 AM on the weekends probably wasn’t helping either, but I sure as hell thought it.)  Yesterday I vowed not to take a nap.  I cleaned and worked on my to do list, finishing all of my projects for the week.  I played three games with Hubby.  I did the things you’re supposed to do to help you sleep.  I ate my dinner earlier than usual.  I took a hot shower about two hours before bed.  I colored and watched some TV.  I went to bed at a reasonable time (10:15) and read just a little before turning out the light.  I was exhausted.  I was worn out.  I had worked hard and my bed was comfortable.

And I was wide awake.

Then I dozed off and on until 2:30 and then I was wide awake.  I did all of my tricks.  I read some more.  I counted.  I got up and walked around.  Nothing.  When i did finally fall back to sleep, I slept hard until my alarm and woke up exhausted.

But I have made it through today.  I have managed to do so much at work and I haven’t been a horrible bitch and I am proud of myself.  I am going to go home, relax, and go to bed at a decent time again and hope hope hope that I can fix this.

But I never would have made it through the day if I hadn’t worked super hard.  Work is always one of the answers for me.  (Except when it’s not.  Then we’re in big trouble.)

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