I need a plan for survival.

Every day I get up and I listen to my podcasts while I get ready for work.  I listen to my audiobooks in the car or talk to my mother.  When I come to work I check in on my social media quickly and then plan out my day.  I usually make a point to check the news quickly about three times a work day: 10, 12, and 3.  I don’t know why I started doing this but I’ve done it for probably a year now.  I like to know what is going on in the world even if I just take a cursory glance at the main stories on Google, which is what I like to keep it to.

But, you guys, the news is ruining me right now.

I can’t decide if it is better to look away or keep informed.  Every time I open the news pages, my blood pressure shoots up and I feel like puking or crying or both.  Everything is so wrong and messed up right now.  I don’t know what to do about it.  I feel terrible being pregnant right now because it doesn’t seem like a good time to bring a baby into the world and also I wish that I could drink heavily for a few days until I feel better.  I cannot fathom why anyone thinks that the things that are going on are okay.  They just aren’t.  That’s that.

I need a plan to survive the next four years.  I need to figure out how to read the news without getting upset.  I need to know how to raise a child in this world.  I need to know how to make my corner of it good.  I need to know how to defend the things I know are right and stand up against the things I know are wrong.  But at the very base of it all I just need to know how to survive.


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