For the most part, I am proud of myself but I also recognize that I am lucky.  I have had a good pregnancy so far, just a little nausea and a lot of being tired.  That is really nothing.  There haven’t been any scares.  Everything has been pretty normal.  I feel pretty good.  I know that I am lucky.  I know that I am blessed.

So, I have kept myself going.  I get some exercise every morning.  I make a point to do my hair and make up and try to look nice for work.  I have thrown myself into proving that I can do it all.  I work hard.  I work hard at work and I work hard at home and I make a point to make myself play too.  There is something in me that drives me to do it all and look like I have it together.

Some days I come home exhausted and disappointed and frustrated.  But some days I come home and I cannot help but feel like I am a bad ass.  Look at how much I have accomplished in my life.  Look at how hard I have worked.  Look at how far I have come.  I am not stupid enough to think that I did it all on my own but I am smart enough to recognize that I have worked hard and that I deserve these things.

One of the things that I have been trying to learn is how to love myself fiercely.  A term I came across online was “radical self love”.  I want to find my inner peace.  I want to have balance in my life.  I want to love myself unconditionally.  And I am working for these things.


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