In my real life, I talk a lot about how important it is to take care of myself but I can’t say that I ever actually follow through with it. I don’t do too poorly. I try to get my sleep and exercise, try to eat decently enough and take my vitamins, let myself take a step back when I need it. But I can’t say that I actually do well either. I have a tendency to put other people’s wants in front of my own and run myself a little ragged.
So when I got pregnant I told myself that now I really did need to take care of myself, whatever that means.
On the other hand, I also decided that I wasn’t going to let myself be “one of those people” who used pregnancy as an excuse. I was going to get my work done and keep my head in the game. I was going to see my friends and keep up with my husband. I was going to keep it together.
Where am I at with all of this? Well, I’m taking okay care of myself and I am mostly keeping up. The real problem is that I am not actually taking care of myself very consistently. Do you know why? Because I feel bad. I feel bad if I have to tell Hubby that I’m going to bed on midnight on a Friday because he is still up and going. I feel bad when I am out with friends and I have to drive 45 minutes home and I need to go because I can barely keep my eyes open. I feel even worse when someone suggests that I “just need some coffee.”
Last night one of our friends told me that I was a real trooper for hanging in there so long and I felt so good about that. I am trying and it is so nice to be recognized for it. I felt grateful for it because a lot of time Hubby acts like I am being a baby. I don’t need much, but I do need my rest and I do need to eat when I’m hungry and sometimes I just need someone to let me know that that’s okay.
I did not sleep well last week, an average of 6.5 hours a night. Today I feel wretched, tired and spacey and out of my element. I need to take care of myself and I need to not feel bad about that.
The Rachaelness 