The Rachael Paradox

I am frustrated with myself today and I am also trying not to be.  I am tired.  I woke up at 2:15 and didn’t fall back to sleep until 5.  Then I woke up at 5:50 and managed to doze off for another 20 minutes.  That puts me at something like 5.5 hours of sleep.  I haven’t slept well for three nights now and I am pretty damn tired.  I’m lucky that my schedule has some swing in it this week and I can leave early and take a nap.  I hope that’s enough to reset my clock and get me back to sleeping.  Tomorrow and Friday are going to be long days.

But I am frustrated with myself.

I am frustrated because I never let myself slow down but I never actually accomplish anything either.  I feel like I am constantly going and doing and not taking a break but then I feel like I don’t have a right to because I have so much to do.  Add this to my sleep deprivation and I am basically a tangled ball of late night TV fuzz.

That’s exactly how I feel.

So, two hours and forty-five minutes and then I can go home and take a nap and try again.


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