Itchiness

I have a tendency to get a little manic sometimes.  We’ve talked about this before.  I want to chase after every thread of thought that crosses my mind.  I am having one of those days.  While I’ve been working away, I’ve also had extra tabs pulled up on my browser.  I’ve figured out how many pages I have to read per day to get my books done in time (More than I’d like).  I’ve got an Amazon listing up for a book that I want to buy even though I shouldn’t buy a book right now.  I have a book sitting on my desk that I was thinking about reading because, guess what, my brain was all like, “Wouldn’t it be fun to read ALL of the books in the Tween collection?”

Yes, it would be.  No, I can’t.

Who knows what I would be doing if I were at home right now.  Would I be tearing apart the closet some more?  Or would I be passed out and napping by now?  Maybe I would have actually taken the snow shovel and scooped the rotted pumpkin off of my front porch finally.

While there is not always a reason for me to be this way, sometimes there is a pattern.  Today was ripe for it.  I slept better last night but I am still tired.  My sinuses are doing something weird.  I gave myself a pep talk this morning.  “You’re not actually tired,” I assured myself.  “There’s no reason that you can’t get things done.”  Except, my brain listened calmly to this statement, smiled, and said, “I will DO ALL OF THE THINGS!”  Then it promptly ran figurative circles around me.  (Because my brain did not actually escape me head and run around the room, thank God.)

I am glad that I have spent so much time in meditation lately.  I am getting better and gently taking my brain by the hand and leading it back to what it was doing.  I can run wild in between getting things done and that seems perfectly fair.

I’m hoping to dive back into my Big Three tomorrow.  It’s been a while since I’ve even thought about them.

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