That’s a trick question, you guys. The answer is that a lot of things are important to varying degrees. That doesn’t make anything less important because something is more important. I think that things just have a steady level of importance and part of life is figuring out how to juggle those things so that no important thing goes to the wayside.
Why this convoluted discussion of importance? Moms.
There are all kinds of different mothers in this world. All kinds of them! Working ones. Stay at home ones. Homeschool ones. Crunchy granola moms. Gluten free moms. Religious moms. Eccentric moms. Whatever the hell my mom is (awesome). Each and every woman is a completely different mom.
But since I have been pregnant, I have become hyper aware of a specific kind of mom. The mom moms. I know a few people like this. They are women who seem to have only ever wanted to be moms and as soon as they had their children Mom became their only identity. I don’t mean for it to sound harsh because all of the specific women I am thinking of are wonderful people. They are kind and caring and they love their families and their friends. Well, actually, I’m not sure that they have friends because they never seem to talk about them.
These are the women with Opinions about motherhood. They are shocked to hear that I am going back to work, only taking two months off. Once they realize that I am serious, they are surprised that I am not going down to part time. They can’t imagine that I would be willing to give up being home with my child. They are the women who are 100% about breast feeding and surprisingly concerned about your own feeding plans. They constantly share articles about how to use your car seat correctly and about that baby who died because of a mother’s negligence. They like to assure you that motherhood is the Most Rewarding Thing Ever, which is good because they also tell you about how since they had their baby they do not drink, go out, trust babysitters, have time to read, ever eat a warm meal, talk to their old friends, have sex, take showers, or really do anything that doesn’t have to do with their child.
This drives me mad.
I know that being a mother is important, the most important job out there. But I don’t think that you are doing your child any service by being only a mom. And I’m not saying that stay at home moms are like this because I know so many stay at home moms who aren’t JUST moms. I don’t want you to think that I am making that generalization.
What good is it for your son to think that you, the most important woman in his life, are only there to take care of him? Will he ever learn to take care of himself? What kind of an opinion will he develop about women? Or, let’s say you have a daughter. If you are just a mom and her closest role model, does that effect what she ends up doing with her life? Does it create a cycle of moms?
I am a lot of things. Yes, I am about to become a mother. (Two weeks, you guys!) I am also a wife, a kitty mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend. And I don’t define myself by who I am to other people! No, I am Rachael and I am a reader, a writer, a lover, a singer, a feminist, a librarian. I am SO much and I am so glad that my son will be able to see me being so much.
And that, my friends, is what is on my mind.