I suspect myself of projecting my feelings onto other people.

When I think that Hubby hates me, it’s because I hate myself.

There are a lot of very hard things in my life right now.  I am afraid, of the c-section and of what having a baby will do to my marriage.  I am sad that it will never be the past and wonder how I am to seize my future.  There’s a lot of uncertainty.  But isn’t there always?

This morning I thought,”In a week I’ll be bringing home a baby.”  And I wondered if that meant that things were going to happen sooner than planned.  I won’t be bringing home a baby for a week and a half.

But I am excited to see what layers this adds to my womanhood, what it does for my writing and my purpose and my self.  Plus, I get to buy childrens books.


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